I am a LGBT individual. I am non-binary, and in terms of sexual preferences the label I feel most comfortable with is gay, though some people may argue that I’m not ‘really’ gay. I guess you could qualify me as pansexual. I have struggled with my identity all my life, from childhood on. It is something I have lived with from the moment I was born, there is no way around it. And finally, I’ve decided I’m okay with that.
When I was young, I knew (then as a cis girl) I had a strong attraction to other girls. They were beautiful, soft, and made my cheeks red. I had never seen public displays of affection from a woman couple in my young life, so something in my brain was telling me my attraction was utterly wrong. I was disgusted with myself, and totally at war with my own thoughts. I felt hopeless, nasty, and like everyone would laugh at me if they found out. So I never told anyone, and that was that for a very long time. When I was around 11 or 12, I met a girl named Juleah. She had colorful hair just like me, and wore dark clothing. I was obsessed on sight. She was beautiful, with short, cropped hair and chubby cheeks. I had never been on a date before, and I was seriously terrified, but I asked her to go out with me anyway. She said yes, and for the next few months we were glued to each other’s hip. This was incredibly exciting for me, as I said before, she was my first date, relationship, any of that. I got to explore my attraction to girls with her, and fully realized that I think women are gorgeous, exciting beings in which I could really have deep connections with. After that relationship fell through, I continued to fall for beautiful girls and have meaningful relationships with them. This was a learning experience for me, and what I learned was that I was allowed to have this attraction, I was allowed to have these feelings and most importantly I was allowed to be whoever or whatever my heart desired. This was incredibly hard for me to learn, and honestly? I’m still learning it everyday that I continue pushing forward with my identity in the forefront. My identity is incredibly important to me, and I will never hold back for anyone or anything that stands in my way. I will be as openly gay, non-binary, and queer as I want to be at any given moment. This is my life and guess what? I have total control over it and no one can tell me how to live. I am myself, and I’ve decided I’m happy with that. If you’d like to talk with me about this, feel free to shoot me an email at [email protected]. As long as you are respectful, I am wholeheartedly interested in hearing about your perspective, especially if you are LGBT. As always, thanks for reading and see you next time! ~ Theia
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AuthorMy name is Theia, a non binary submissive with a growing passion for kink and BDSM. |